life after it all

This is not a sponsored review.  I am receiving not money on this post.  But I feel the need to explain why I choose to write paid blogs with Pay Per Post.

I use to write for Smorty.  For a long time actually.  And they paid "alright".  Nothing great and the opps were inconsistent.  But they were super easy.  I wrote for them from about December 2006 till just very recently. 

When I initally started writing for them (and we all know the only REAL reason I blog is to make the tiny extra bit of money I do make from it, secondly to inform long distance friends what I'm up to), I was writing from South Africa.  And I was on my ex-boyfriends site.  He owned the site.  When we broke up, well, I lost my site (and rightfully so - why should he continue to pay for a site and let me use it when we couldn't even stand to be in the same country anymore!).

So I stopped blogging and my posts were gone. I don't have issue here. 

Where I do have issue is when I started blogging for Smorty again this past March.  I bloged about $30 worth of posts for them and was not paid.  Why?  Because the posts from 6 months prior or longer were gone.  And I owed them $60.  they would not pay me my new money until I paid them back $60.  Their posts had been up for at least 3 months each, much longer in many cases.  And I couldn't re-post those posts.  They were gone.

Nothing could be done.  Post for Smorty must remain up forever.

and ever.

So I don't blog for them anymore.  And I dont advocate anyone blogging for them.

Pay Per Post however are mich nicer and pay you even if they approved your request incorrectly.  Very nice PPP.

you got my vote.

Really, I should learn to use viso.  It all about venn diagrams.

My life.

My parents life.

Imagine, if you will, that certain aspects of our lives intersect.  Its inevitable.  Xmas holidays.  Occasional stressful visits to Edmonton.  However, those areas of the venn diagram which do not intersect are nice, stress-free parts of our lives.  And occasionally, the venn diagram is expanded and more parts of their lives intersect with mine.  Like this weekend.  Friday stumbles along and I get a text from my father (in broken english) asking if I'm home cause they want to chat.  Nothing big.  Just a friendly chat.  I respond that I'm not home and since its a lovely weekend, I dont know when I will be home.  Flash forward to Saturday.  I get home for all of an hour to shower - theres a little blinking light on my phone saying my parents called (thankfully I dont have voice mail).  Sigh.  I told them yesterday I wasn't going to be home.  Flash forward to Sunday.  I'm home for 20 minutes to shower.  Once again, a little blinking light telling me my parents called again.  Sigh.  Le sigh actually. 

Maybe something is wrong.  but surely if someone died, they would and could call me on my cell.  But they didn't. 

Flash forward to yesterday.  I step thru the front door at 530 with groceries and my phone rings.  Its my mom.  just wanting to chat. "Where were you this weekend?"

Fucking a random Albertan many times while drinking booze and driving insanely around Edmonton.

Is what I wanted to say.

So I chat mindlessly while she asks me a million questions which I'm not prepared to answer (I'm not in the mood to explain that my boss starts tomorrow and hes got his Masters and he seems to specialize in South Africa and my weekend was good and filled with outdoor activities etc etc etc).  Hell, Ive just stepped thru the door.  Its obvious after about 10 minutes that I'm not going to reveal that I've somehow gotten engaged this weekend and am planning on building a 4 story house in Orange County with a guest suite just for them.

So we hang up.

And I start to realize that thats its 1.5 months till they come visit.

This is why I am not adding them on facebook.

My life.

Their life.

And only in perscribed and safe areas should the two meet.

Ok, so while I'm not sappy, I think its interesting to learn how you meet significant people. And Sherries Blog for the day highlights that tomorrow is How i met my honey day. My "honey" and I met rather conventionally, unlike Sherrie and her's (or even me and my last bf). And I don't call him honey. The word kind of turns my stomach. =)

Ok, so to participate in a blog event, here it goes:

I moved to Edmonton in late Jan to start over my life. I had just come thru the worst year of my life and I was reeling. I arrived and met an awesome woman named Chantelle who invited me out for dinner with some of her friends on Valentines Day. It was a great dinner. The conversation was lively and full of interesting tidbits concerning men in Edmonton. Everyone had a different story to tell, except for one common element. Finding a man is hard in Edmonton. All these wonderful chicks had tried their hand at online dating. And these are WONDERFUL women. All lawyers and investment bankers. So I'm sitting at the table, the youngest by at least 4 years, thinking "Uh-oh". If they couldn't meet a man, how the hell was I going too?

So I went home and thought nothing more of the internet dating idea that night. The next night however, I opened a bottle of white wine (much to my friend Kathy's dismay) and I put up an online bio on Plenty of Fish. I wasn't embaressed to do this, but I did need some dutch courage. I was not on 30 minutes when a man sent me a message. I was surprised. And I replied. And we started chatting online. He seemed nice enough. Until...we both realized we worked for Alberta Justice. And right aay the both of us ran in seperate directions. So I turned off the computer and went to bed.

I woke up the next morning to a lovely email from him current boyfriend. We chatted via email for a day and then exchanged IM names. We chatted online Saturday night while watching Ghostbusters (what an awesome movie) and choose Monday to meet (Family Day - Feb 18th).

We met up that Monday afternoon at Block 1912 (the one place I can count on people knowing for sure). And, to be honest, I was a little like Sherrie. In walked this guy that looked nothing like I imagined. I'm not sure what I imagined, but it wasn't him. I dont mean this in a bad way, I just had a different thought in my head. He seemed nice enough and we enjoyed a drink and went for a walk on Whyte Ave. We walked....and walked.....and went to a bookstore and then for another drink and something to eat at a little cocktail bar on Whyte. While I thought the conversation flowed - I was not taken at all. I figured I had met someone I felt I could really be friends with, but that was it. My mind remained that way even when I was introduced to his Mini Cooper (I have a small car fetish - latent most of the time as most men I date have horrible car tastes).

I said goodbye at my house and went upstairs. I did email him right away and say we should meet up again. I'm not entirely sure why I did this as I had made up my mind that he wasn't my type (and really, stereotypically, he isn't. The last blond I dated was D-D-arr-e-l-l. I generally don't find blonds attractive. And I generally prefer much taller men and men with substaintially more body fat than he has - altho this, I have discovered, is a huge turn on. I didn't realize how much I was missing by always going for apple shaped men). Anyway, I was convinced there was nothing to it.

But he asked me out again. Apparently his interrpretation of the date was different than mine. But I said yes. Cause everyone deserves a second date, I believe. And we went to see "I'm not there" at the Princess Theatre on Whyte. Very good movie. But something was very different on this date. This wasn't the same man I had just had a date with not 2 days prior. This time around, I felt chemistry. And I was attracted to him. And when he kissed me...well....that was enough for me to be convinced that I was wrong on the first impression.

So thats how we met. We dated for a week or so before we became exclusive and so its been 2 months now. We have our moments, and who knows what the future brings. But I'm happy.


There he is.  And there still does not exist a photo of the two of us.  Altho I tried.  And it turned out horrible.  Because of me. 

(I have a much more interesting story on how I met my last bf. But that will have to wait. But there involves an Australian, booze and a trip to the hospital.)

At least I will be shortly.

I have rented a car for the weekend.  I have to go to a Baby shower tomorrow in Sherwood Park and Sherwood Park is (in geographic terms my readers may understand):

• as far as Paradise is from Kilbride (if you don't take the short cut thru Mt. Pearl)
• as far as Stellenbosch is from Gardens
• as far as Dublin is from Killiney

So when i did the quick math in my head, it was cheaper for me to rent a car (at $54 taxes included) than to get a cab there and back.  So this way, I get the car for the weekend and just pay the extra in gas.

I'm beyond excited for this.  I haven't driven since Jan.  This is a little scarey since the last time I was driving in Edmonton was 2 years ago and I had a melt down on Gateway Blvd coming into Edmonton.  I didn't know what to do!  All of a sudden there were 4 lanes going in the same direction!  This never happens in Newfoundland!  So once I got myself off the highway from hell, Jonathan threatened to walk back to Calgary.

Needless to say I haven't driven in Edmonton since then.

But i'm up for the challenage.  Tonight I drive to Sears to get a gift and hopefully the current boyfriend will want to go for a drive.  And hopefully, he has more humor than Jonathan.

I have been thinking about getting a new cell phone. I got my last one in South Africa about a year ago. I was so happy to finally have a flip phone with a camera. And it still works. And it works fine. But I'm a bit of a geek and I want a new toy to play with.

But I doubt I will be getting one. I just can't justify the money on something when I already have one that works great. This is why free cell phones would be the way to go.  Best in Cell Phones offers great cell phones at great prices.  You can shop by phone or feature.  Its an easy to use site and really does have cheap phones!

So when will I get a new cell phone.  When this one craps out.  Which knowing Nokia, will be in about 4 years.  Maybe I should get a less reliable cell phone next time so I can justify buying a new one sooner.  And plus, cell phones aren't very forgiving to the tragus. Ouch.

Plus, there are people in my life who need a new cell phone sooner than me.  And if I have my way, they will have one very very soon.

I have another piercing.

I never, ever considered myself a body modification person, but here I am, age 28 with my 5th piercing still in my body and my 6th piercing overall.  I got my Tragus pierced.

What is the Tragus?  Its the thick piece of cartlidge that sticks out of your ear.  You almost always push it inwards when you plug your ears.  I first saw this done when I was 20 and working at the Running Room.  A girl I worked with had it done and while I thought little of the girl, I thought a lot of the piercing.  Its cool.  Its nondiscript and petite.  But since then, I've had a second set of holes put in my ears, had my belly button ring taken out, had my nose pierced and had my helix done. Its only over the past year that I've started seriously considering this piercing. Mostly because I've heard it can hurt like a son of a bitch!

So last august, when jonathan and I broke up, I started thinking of getting my Tragus pierced.  But i chickened out.  i ended up getting my helix pierced.  And i loved it - even tho I required jonathan to help me clean it.  Which sucked considered it magnified the distance between us.  But as soon as I left, I started wanting that Tragus piercing again.

So when I moved here in Jan, I started thinking about it again.  I like to get piercings that mark a significant point in my life. And moving to Edmonton was certainly a significant point in my life.  But I had way to many other things going on and at first I didn't really know anyone to go with me.  (Yes, I need someone to go with me).  When I started dating my current boyfriend, I took up the idea again, but with little dedication.  I chickened out several times.

Until yesterday.  I was determined.  I don't know why, but I feel like something is about to happen in my life.  I'm not sure what it is.  I have some ideas, and none of them are really great.  So with this in mind, I chose to make the appointment and do this while I am blissfully unaware of whats awaiting me.

And boy was yesterday a long day.  Sweating palms, racing heartbeat.  You name it.  I even called my boyfriend in hopes that he would bail.  but he didn't.

So up I went.  shaking practically.  My piercer - Johnny - was great.  I think he noticed just how nervous I was and I he meticulously went through the process and the cleaning.  So much so that it occured to me after a while that he was doing it to calm me down.  He had a great energy about him as well.  Finally, I lay down and waited.  He did it with a dermal punch, which he said, would be quicker and less painful as it didn't have to stretch the area like a needle does (which is how I got my nose, belly button and helix done).  After he clamped me, I braced.  He made me breathe loudly so he could tell that I was actually still breathing and so that he could go with the exhale.  And I did.  And I punched.  And it didn't hurt.  At all.  It was the least painful piercing I've ever had.  And actually, that statement is a misnomer.  It just didn't hurt.  I liken it to having my nails clipped.  You know its happening, but you don't really feel whats going on.  It took longer than most piercings - except my belly button, which was a total fuck up apparently.  Even when he put on the ring, it didn't hurt.

My boyfriend watched it all and to my surprise, was able to stand it.  I've never had anyone faint while watching me get pierced before, but I know one of my ex's nearly did.  And i didn't get to watch jonathan during my helix, but I'm pretty sure that wuss didn't handle it that well.  And I will admit, my boyfriend isn't a big guy.  I had my doubts about his ability to watch someones flesh get pierced.  There might have been blood (which there wasn't).  But he lasted.  Altho he did go to the washroom right after it was done. :)

I expected it to hurt eventually, once the high of the piercing wore off.  But it never did. Even sleeping didn't bother it (altho I did try to stay on my left side, I did roll over once to my right and it was tender, but not painful).  This morning when i cleaned it, it also didn't hurt.  I'm way surprised.

And impressed.

....and maybe this isn't a but.

I was rushed into a meeting yesterday with the Assistant Deputy Minister at 1pm.  I was told I was responsible for a rush Breifing Note and letter that was due to the ADM by 12pm today.  Draft is then due to my ED by 430pm yesterday.  The briefing note and letter would not save any babies from dying and I failed to understand why it had to be done NOW NOW!  I fully appreciate everything needs a due date, but a 3.5 hour turn around time is a little ridiculous unless we are saving babies.

But I prevailed.  I submitted the briefing note and letter to my ED by 430pm.  Best of all, it hasn't been bounced back to me yet.  I understand that there are still a few hours before its due to the ADM (and then DM and Minister).  But I feel good that it will stay out there in the world and will not be returned for further drafting and editing.

My treat for this rush project was dinner made for me by my boyfriend.  And boy oh boy, it was delicious.  Whole wheat pasta with a spinach, pepper, garlic and mexican salami sauce.  I was drooling.  It was followed by cheesecake.  Now, this could have been a wonderfully romantic dinner.  But romance does not come natively to either him nor I (no matter how much I wish it did).  So while wine and pasta and chocolate could have made for a wonderfully romantic night, it ended up in front of the tv with both of us drinking a bottle of wine.  All the elements of romance were there, but after a bottle of wine, I'm lucky I can stand and honestly, so was he.

But it was exactly what I needed after my saving babies afternoon.

I just had the best birthday weekend I could ever ask for.

I went to a beer festival and discovered I love gluten free beer.  I drank red wine till I was drunk (and passed out).  I splashed at the Waterpark.  I had drinks with friends.  I went for a walk and I watched a movie.  And I ate myself silly (after a week of pseudo dieting, it was good to eat whatever I wanted).

And I spent it with my lovely boyfriend.

When I moved here in Jan I was a little nervous that come my birthday I wold be spending it alone.  But this was so not the case.  I chose to spend it with my boyfriend for the most part, but I could have easily found other people to spend it with.  It really was an awesome birthday...  :)

But I'm back to work now.  Which I don't entirely mind.  Sure I would have loved to get more sleep last night (stupid people upstairs were banging around till midnight).  But I truly love my job.  For the millionth time, my landlord asked me this in the elevator on Saturday.  And I replied again, that yes, I do love my job.  I have found my calling.  I am a government monkey. 

For a few years I use to make fun a friend who worked for government.  "Why would you want to work in government?" "Its so boring!".  But here I am.  Sitting at a desk for 90% of my day and happily researching and writing law and justice type stuff.  I may want to pull my hair out when I get a 24 hour turn around time on a briefing note or when something I've written comes back 5 times before the DM signs off on it, but when all is said and done - I love it here.  I really love what I do.

And I feel I need to get as many people as possible working for the government.  I can't get over the benefits and job security I have (ok, well, the job security is a little up in the air, but I feel I may get some security in the next few months).  I work from 815am till 430pm and I can then walk again.  WALK AWAY!  Not like school where as much as you did while on campus is only compounded by the fact that you feel you have never done enough.  My nights and weekends are mine.  ALL mine!  No correcting or studying to do.  No worrying.  I've never felt so relaxed in my whole life!

Note:  This is outside of the incredible anxiety I have felt the past two weeks.  Inspite of the above, work was pretty stressful for like a week and then with some relationship crap add in for good measure, I was an anxious mess for about 2 weeks.  I've been coming down off this anxiety high for about a week because the work anxiety was resolved and slowly the relationship stuff has been coming down too (altho not as much as I would like).  But nonetheless, I have always found that after a period of high anxiety, I take up to 2 - 3 weeks before I return to normal. 

Perhaps I had stupidly felt that I can conqured my anxiety.  I haven't felt anxious - like I use to feel - in months.  Especially since Xmas.  But over the past 2 weeks I've been little miss anxious again.  Namely over my relationship and my job.  I don't know where my relationship is going and if I had to guess, I would say down the drain.  And the shit hit the fan at work last week and its cause was mostly me.  I didn't realize until last night that my bad habits and inexplainable crying have probably been caused by these two events.

So I still have a little bit of work to do in the anxiety dept.

I'm turning the big 28 on Saturday. I'm excited. At least in so far that I get to go to the West Edmonton Mall WATERPARK! YEA! I may not be bikini ready, but piffle. Its the waterpark!

And so with birthday's come birthday cards. At least one would think. And in my family, cards are very important. I get cards from my poppy and my parents each year, without a doubt and without fail. My dad doesn't do the buying, my mom does. At least I assume so. I can't see my father buying birthday cards. But I guess anything is possible. but the card is from them. Mom buys them at the store, but if she wanted to save money, she could buy them online. She could also personalize it very easily that way.

And personalizing cards is so easy.


So what else am I doing on my birthday besides getting cards? Well, I'm also hoping to go for drinks after the Waterpark and see all my friends who refuse to get into a bathing suit in April. This is actually everyone besides my boyfriend. So I have every intention of being a little drunk the night of my birthday.

And I've also managed to stay clear of my birthday crisis thus far. Despite being that much closer to 30. But the week is still young. Theres plenty of time to freak out.