life after it all

I guess firstly by saying I know no one who suffers from it. (and I hear men around the world giving a sigh of relief). Maybe its just my age - I'm not even 30. So I guess it wouldn't/shouldn't be too much of an issue in my life. Thankfully, its not.

I do wonder however when I will start encountering men who need to use Generic Cialis?

I'm hoping its not for a long time yet.  And really, would I admit it?  That my guy needed some help down there?  Proabably not. 

Lets hope its a good few years off!!!

This is a paid post.

Knowledge is a powerful tool.  And its also a painful weapon.  This is why I sometimes live by the rule that ignorance is bliss.  What I don't know, won'y hurt me.  And yes, I do believe that.  I often find I don't know what to do with knowledge, particularly when it directly impacts my own actions.  I can't continue my life as it was before once I find out things.  I just can't do it.  I can't ignore certain knowledge - no matter how much the judge may ask that the statement be striken from the record. 

Its kind of in line with the idea that you can be forgiven but not forgotten.  I can forgive people for so much.  But I rarely forget what people do.  I honestly try not to let the knowledge of what someone has done affect how or what I might or say or do.  But its truly hard for me.  I live in my head, ya know?  I live with knowledge everyday and I can't escape it.

Its part and parcel to GEneralized Anxiety Disorder.  I know this.  But that makes it no less a painful weapon.

I lost a lot of weight between July and September 2007. Close of 20 pounds. By the time all was said and done, I was a skeletal (for me anyway) 113lbs at 5 foot 6. Personally, I thought I looked great. And I managed to maintain that weight (or thereabouts) until early December when I slowly started gaining weight again (a sure sign that my life is doing ok is when I gain weight). Now, in March I estimate (cause I have no scale), that I am back to about 123lbs-126lbs. Its not a bad weight to be at, and considering I use to be 131lbs, I should be really happy. But after seeing myself at 113lbs, I really want to get down below 120lbs again. But i'm not obsessed about it. In fact, I have no ability to do anything about it. I love food WAY too much. So would I consider seeing a lap band surgeon? Probably not, but if your looking for a new way to lose weight, maybe its worth checking out!

This is a paid post.

So Facebook is an interesting piece of equipment.  It allows me to keep in touch with friends millios of miles away.  It keeps me occupied when I have nothing to do at work (like now).  It basically consumes large portions of my life.

However, what I find the most interesting is the little tidbits of info Facebook throws up in my face when i'm not evening looking for it.

Like today.  I'm on a friends page, a good friend from Cape Town and i notice shes got a new event to the wonderfully delicious (so i've heard) Oyster Festival in Durbanville.  so I click.  Whos inviting this lovely young woman?  You get three guesses and the first three don't count.  So I click to see who else has been invited (I presume this lovely young womans beau and I'm correct).  but while seeing who else is invited I notice something, someone is no longer my friend.

As you may know, Facebook lists your friends first on event pages. So on this particular invite list, three of my friend were invited.  However, I would have thought 4.  But one of "my friends" has dropped me from her list of friends.  Fair enough. shes his friend way more than mine.  But what I find interesting is that his BEST FRIEND is still my friend, but shes not.  Anyway, this is only slightly interesting to me and no one else.  but for what its worth (to those who think I'm petty - which admittedly I am, especially in reference to two girls from high school), I have never dropped anyone from that part of my life off my friends list.  i think dropping people in this instance is petty.  However, I have lost 2 friends in the divorce from my facebook account.

Oh well.  No loss.

Just incrediby bored.

As I believe I've said before, I dont really enjoy blogging. I hate the knowing that there is a space out there waiting for me to fill. And I'm not the best off the cuff writer either. So blogging can be stressful for me. But in 2007, I made $500 doing so for only approximately 7 months. I therefore made on average, $71/month blogging during the time I was doing paid blogging. And for about 2 months of that, I was very very slack. I was doing it to supplement my sad income in South Africa. And with the exchange rate, it was an awesome supplement (thats an extra R300-R400/month which in real terms is a week of groceries).

But I had to stop because I didn't own the rights to the url and when we broke up, he got the url in the settlement (he also got the desk, chair, place mats, linen, and storage shelves - I got my life back. Fair trade I think). So I stopped. And when i moved to Edmonton, I figured while I didn't need the money as badly as I did then, it would be nice to make some extra cash for approximately 1 hour of work a month (really, it is only an hour for me, but some hard core people who make more, might work 2 hours).

So I'm back at the paid blogging game. And its a great way to get paid for blogging.

This is a paid post.

I have to book my ticket home soon.  Like really soon.  I will fly home at Xmas with Aeroplan.  I checked the website last week only to discover that all economy tickets are gone for the dates I want to fly - and the dates around it.  So I have to use most of the points I have now to fly home Business Class!  This shouldn't be as surprising as it is since I had to fly Business Class to and from Calgary the entire time I was there.

This blows.

I have a truly bad right knee. I believe it to be either degenerative bone disease (which afflicts my hips) or arthritis. It only started to hurt when I moved to South Africa this last time. I was, like I have most of my life, walking a lot. However, a route I took a lot would take me down a slight hill to Long St. and then down even further to the Waterfront (the greatest place on earth!). So I can surmise that walking this 2-3km route often twice a week (with additional walking every single day), screwed up my knee. Or otherwise, its degenerative bone disease in my knee. but anyway, I can't walk long distances on uneven terrain without good shoes and I can't do certain bendy things with my knee all the time (which sucks for Yoga because unless I'm having a good day, I can't do some of the main poses in Full Primary Asthanga).

So I've resigned myself to needing a knee operation in the future. A Knee Replacement will be a welcomed relief for me.  but this product is created speficially for each patient, so even if you have an odd knee (which I'm sure I have), it will work for you.  And the proceudure is only about 40-60 minutes long, meaning you can go home that day!  And on top of it all, if I need a full knee replacement later, this one allows for such an option. 

This is a paid post.

Ok, its not secret I really didn't like Calgary.  I had some good times, but in general, I didn't like the city.  But i do miss one thing.  the Rockies.  I could see the rockies from almost anywhere in Calgary.  And it was a nice sight. Almost surreal.  I'm close to the Rockies here, at least Jasper, but not close enough to see them.  And I miss that.

On a completly different note:  I learned that Justice is only one of two departments that is locked down.  I just assumed all departments were locked down.  (Locked Down: every floor and every wing requires card access and even the building after normal work hours).  Apparently its just us and social Services due to the nature of our work.  Well, not MY work.  I'm sure no one is going to get so pissed off with a letter written by me on behalf of the Minister than they come down and demand some form of retribution.  But still, its cool.

Just thought I would share my bedroom.  Felt I needed some color in my blog and in my room.  Now there is a curtain in my room that cuts it off from the living room, but its generally tied back and out of the way.  but its really nice.  thanks mom!

I can't find a doctor in Edmonton for love nor money.

I've been trying since I arrived and while I would prefer a female doctor, I'm slowly recanting on my desire to have one.  I'm almost at the point where I will see anyone in a white coat.  I recognize that all over Canada doctors are in high demand.  But never have I had trouble getting into see a doctor.

While at first my ocncern was to see a doctor for my file (I need to see a doctor for a few tests regarding my heart), I am now desperate to see a doctor to get my birth control pills prescribed.  The only doctor who would take me is a middle aged East Indian who could not see me until June!  Sorry, Mr., June won't cut it. 

So i've made an appointment to see a doctor at the Birth Control clinic - just to fill my prescription.  However, they can't see me until April 2nd!  And in the meantime, if I get sick and require a doctor, I will be required to hoof it down to a Walk In Clinic or the Hospital.  Personally,  I will hoof it to the hospital.  I WANT to tax the damn Alberta health care system. And for me to admit to wanting to do that is huge for me.

Years ago when I was going out with Robert, I use to grill him about not having a family doctor in town.  Whenever he got sick, he would go to the hospital.  I would get upset and remind him that hes taxing an already taxed health care system.  When I couldn't physically make him get a family doctor, i relented, but always reminded him that if he were dying he wouldn't want to wait longer than he had too because there was some idiot in the waiting room with strep throat.

Yes, this is a different situation.  I can't physically get a doctor here.  But I WANT to tax the system here. I want to look at some poor nurse and say "WEll, I oculd have waited till june, but I might have infected half of Edmonton by then".

Anyway, we will see.