life after it all

I had a very well informing and long over due chat with a friend this evening who grew up in Edmonton.  It was so great to hear her voice and even better to hear someone say "Edmonton is a nice place".  While I had no real doubts about Edmonton, it was nice to hear someone say it.  Shes given me tips on where I might want to live (actually just comfirmed where I want to live) and has told me I will have people there.  It made me smile.

On a related note, I looked at a rental application in Edmonton.  Holy crap!  I get that this is perhaps normal, but still, rental history, references and financial info!  I'm going to get on the ball about places now via email.  I really want to move in the last of the month!

And I had a sobering experience last night with a friend. A male friend.  I'm astonished at how men can treat their females friends so badly.  Well, badly might be over stating it.  Or maybe I just have high expectations.  I except my male friends to treat me like I'm there sister.  Which to mean means being nice and the occasional complement.  And for the most part, I get that.  And in some cases, I get a lot more - which makes me greatful of those males friends.  And while I advocate that men and women can be just friends, I also am practical and see that theres always the possibility of something else between male and female friends.    For this reason, I advocate positive flirting between male and female friends so as to keep the relationship smooth (cause I also find male female relationships can become dull otherwise).  Flirting involves completments and not saying things that will piss the other person off.  And it doesn't indicate something other than friendship.  Sigh.  How come some men can't understand this? 

Ok, maybe I'm old fashioned.  But I thought a breakup deserved a period of mourning.  I mean its the death of a relationship and essentially a third persion - the "us".  So while I was not actively NOT seeing anyone for the first month after I completely wrote my ex out of my life, I was satisfied that at least I was grieving the death of a relationship that saw me move across the planet and dedicate 4 years to someone. So now I find out hes dating someone.  Now, DON'T get me wrong, I don't wish I was with him.  But things are starting to click in my head about the few months between when I returned home and made the decision NOT to return.  Was he so adament that I not return because he was already dating someone?  Thats not out of his character.  But to think the rest of my life might have been dictated by his inabilty to mourn is a little unsettling.

However, the apparent direction of my life does appear to actually be going good right now.  But I still don't like my life direction to be dictated by anyone other than me.

But I digress.  This last relationship is exactly what Nadine called it 3 years ago - karma.  I got exactly what I deserved for treating ex-before-last badly in the final year of our relationship.  And really, what do I expect from a ex who shacked up with me when he KNEW I was cheating on the ex-before-last?  I certainly didn't mourn the end of the relationship with the ex-before-last and we were together for a solid 3 years (in the same country for 80% of it).  So this is karma for me.

So anyway, I guess what I mean to say is that while I honestly don't wish I was back in South Africa with the ex, I do feel like a rock has landed in my stomach by finding out he is seeing someone.  I HAD wished I was harder to get over.  I HAD thought that it would take him longer to get over me - because I rock!  I kick ass!  Right?

And I change a statement I had in the my post.  I don't need a drink nor do I need to get laid.  I'm winning this bet with a certain London-based South African.

This is my new building. It is where I will research and analyze policy for Alberta Justice. Ok, I admit, I have no real idea what this means besides the fact that I will write briefing notes, but I'm still positive it will be very important. And I'm still gonna make myself invaluable to Alberta Justice. Even if they won't help me relocate (no relocation expense). Grrrr....

So yesterday was portrait day with the Saturday Night Girls. It was rather nice, and I can't wait to get my pics and put them in frames. The girls in those pics really are amazing and true friends.

Friday night, while in my happy stupor, I discovered a male friend of Kathy's thinks I'm a "bitta tail" (I heard it from the horses mouth in a very funny way). To translate to anyone who doesn't speak Newfoundland, bitta tail = means you look hot. Now, I've known this male for a few years, but he is clearly KATHY's friend, not mine and besides knowing his last name, I know little about him except that he is a percussionist. Sadly, I've never felt anything for this male - not that he's ugly, just not my type. But I was flattered to be a "bitta tail", even if it was only on Tibbs Eve. But it makes me wonder, if I was a "bitta tail" on Tibbs Eve, why didn't be do more than just say "Hi" to me? Sigh. Boys. Looking forward to some men in Edmonton.

PS. I did look like a bitta tail on Tibbs Eve.

This is NOT the above mentioned male.