The first post
So this blog has multiple purposes.
I have recently had a very important relationship end after 2 offical years and 4 unoffical years. It was rough. I moved to South Africa for this man. I visited him once. I started my PhD for him. I did A LOT for him. And I got jerked around like a dog on a chain. And in fact, I often now feel if thats how he viewed me. So I need to rant in a place where he is unlikely to find out. He will remain nameless. Here at least. But everyone who knows me who is reading this will know exactly WHO I am speaking of.
This is the only purpose I am really ready to mention. And honestly, its the only one that matters in my life at the moment. Hopefully others will learn from my mistake (yes he WAS a mistake) and not get involved with a manipulator like him.
So today is day 3 of being offically single. I've been single since the first breakup in August, but I still lived with him until mid September and we got back together a few times over the past 2 months. But since I've warned him never to contact me ever again, this is day 3 of the rest of my life.
I feel good. Surprisingly. I've had a few moments in the past few days where I wanted to cry my eyes out. But I've only done it once after the inital shock. In bed on Sunday night. I wanted to never wake up. I was all tapped out emotionally. After 4 years of living for this man, I was tapped out. But otherwise, I'm doing ok. Not fantastic, but thats to be expected. I did dream about him last night, which was disturbing because for the past week I've been dreaming about other men. Now that I never want to dream about him again, I do. Life is funny like that.
However, the signs were there before he lost his small balls. In the cosmic sense. I got a call from Alberta Justice on Thursday asking me for a second interview. My first interview was over 2 weeks ago. And it went badly from my perspective. But now they want a video conference on Thursday. They couldn't get a hold of me initally and sent me an email regarding this on Friday. Because on Friday I was stil returning to South Africa, I almost immediatly responded to the email saying I was not able to have another interview. But I didn't. Something inside of me said . . .
"Wait for Sunday. They won't read the email until Monday anyway."
And then on Saturday - POW!
So how glad am I that I didn't send of that email?
Very.
So onwards I move. By myself for the first time in 7 years really.
I have recently had a very important relationship end after 2 offical years and 4 unoffical years. It was rough. I moved to South Africa for this man. I visited him once. I started my PhD for him. I did A LOT for him. And I got jerked around like a dog on a chain. And in fact, I often now feel if thats how he viewed me. So I need to rant in a place where he is unlikely to find out. He will remain nameless. Here at least. But everyone who knows me who is reading this will know exactly WHO I am speaking of.
This is the only purpose I am really ready to mention. And honestly, its the only one that matters in my life at the moment. Hopefully others will learn from my mistake (yes he WAS a mistake) and not get involved with a manipulator like him.
So today is day 3 of being offically single. I've been single since the first breakup in August, but I still lived with him until mid September and we got back together a few times over the past 2 months. But since I've warned him never to contact me ever again, this is day 3 of the rest of my life.
I feel good. Surprisingly. I've had a few moments in the past few days where I wanted to cry my eyes out. But I've only done it once after the inital shock. In bed on Sunday night. I wanted to never wake up. I was all tapped out emotionally. After 4 years of living for this man, I was tapped out. But otherwise, I'm doing ok. Not fantastic, but thats to be expected. I did dream about him last night, which was disturbing because for the past week I've been dreaming about other men. Now that I never want to dream about him again, I do. Life is funny like that.
However, the signs were there before he lost his small balls. In the cosmic sense. I got a call from Alberta Justice on Thursday asking me for a second interview. My first interview was over 2 weeks ago. And it went badly from my perspective. But now they want a video conference on Thursday. They couldn't get a hold of me initally and sent me an email regarding this on Friday. Because on Friday I was stil returning to South Africa, I almost immediatly responded to the email saying I was not able to have another interview. But I didn't. Something inside of me said . . .
"Wait for Sunday. They won't read the email until Monday anyway."
And then on Saturday - POW!
So how glad am I that I didn't send of that email?
Very.
So onwards I move. By myself for the first time in 7 years really.
