Like death, I thought a breakup deserved a period of respectful mourning
Ok, maybe I'm old fashioned. But I thought a breakup deserved a period of mourning. I mean its the death of a relationship and essentially a third persion - the "us". So while I was not actively NOT seeing anyone for the first month after I completely wrote my ex out of my life, I was satisfied that at least I was grieving the death of a relationship that saw me move across the planet and dedicate 4 years to someone. So now I find out hes dating someone. Now, DON'T get me wrong, I don't wish I was with him. But things are starting to click in my head about the few months between when I returned home and made the decision NOT to return. Was he so adament that I not return because he was already dating someone? Thats not out of his character. But to think the rest of my life might have been dictated by his inabilty to mourn is a little unsettling.
However, the apparent direction of my life does appear to actually be going good right now. But I still don't like my life direction to be dictated by anyone other than me.
But I digress. This last relationship is exactly what Nadine called it 3 years ago - karma. I got exactly what I deserved for treating ex-before-last badly in the final year of our relationship. And really, what do I expect from a ex who shacked up with me when he KNEW I was cheating on the ex-before-last? I certainly didn't mourn the end of the relationship with the ex-before-last and we were together for a solid 3 years (in the same country for 80% of it). So this is karma for me.
So anyway, I guess what I mean to say is that while I honestly don't wish I was back in South Africa with the ex, I do feel like a rock has landed in my stomach by finding out he is seeing someone. I HAD wished I was harder to get over. I HAD thought that it would take him longer to get over me - because I rock! I kick ass! Right?
And I change a statement I had in the my post. I don't need a drink nor do I need to get laid. I'm winning this bet with a certain London-based South African.
However, the apparent direction of my life does appear to actually be going good right now. But I still don't like my life direction to be dictated by anyone other than me.
But I digress. This last relationship is exactly what Nadine called it 3 years ago - karma. I got exactly what I deserved for treating ex-before-last badly in the final year of our relationship. And really, what do I expect from a ex who shacked up with me when he KNEW I was cheating on the ex-before-last? I certainly didn't mourn the end of the relationship with the ex-before-last and we were together for a solid 3 years (in the same country for 80% of it). So this is karma for me.
So anyway, I guess what I mean to say is that while I honestly don't wish I was back in South Africa with the ex, I do feel like a rock has landed in my stomach by finding out he is seeing someone. I HAD wished I was harder to get over. I HAD thought that it would take him longer to get over me - because I rock! I kick ass! Right?
And I change a statement I had in the my post. I don't need a drink nor do I need to get laid. I'm winning this bet with a certain London-based South African.
